Spirit in the Sky
An exclusive excerpt from Dawn Eden Goldstein’s new memoir Sunday Will Never Be the Same
Editor’s note: In the following excerpt, Goldstein is an 18-year-old New York University sophomore.
Saturday, October
4, 1986, 5:43 p.m.
I am wearing my best day-into-evening outfit. On top: a bright magenta cotton
turtleneck beneath my most favorite item of clothing, a vintage short-sleeved
black knit bolero jacket handed down to me from Grandma Mimi. It boasts an
elaborate paisley pattern woven in golden thread. On the bottom: a black A-line
skirt falling just above my knees, black tights, and knee-high black leather
boots with a walkable heel.
My
hair, boasting new blonde highlights and freshly trimmed bangs, falls to my
shoulders. From my ears dangle gold teardrop-shaped hoop earrings, handed down
from Mom. Around my neck is a gold-tone chain with a fourteen-carat Snoopy
pendant I have had since childhood; the back of it has my name inscribed in
cursive.
Once
I am ready to change into an evening look, all I will have to do is apply some
of the makeup that fills the bulging side pocket of my black leather purse. The
fat black eyeliner there will give me the perfect retro raccoon eyes, and the
pale-pink frosted Revlon lipstick will add authenticity.
That
authenticity will impress my boyfriend Bill when I meet him later tonight
outside the Ritz on East Eleventh Street in Manhattan. I am taking him out for
his birthday to see Doctor and the Medics, the glam-rockers who have a hit in
their native England with their version of the old Norman Greenbaum tune
“Spirit in the Sky.”
But
to put on my makeup, I’ll need to find a restroom, which is going to be a
challenge, as I don’t know my way around this cavernous old Newark church that
goes by the strange name of St. Antoninus. And before
I can find a restroom, I have to sit through the rest of this boring ceremony.
Jennifer
is sitting next to me, dressed far more sensibly in a white peasant blouse and
tan skirt. Mom is in a long white frilly dress, but to see her I have to bob my
head over the tall person in front of me, as she is all the way up on the bimah,
or whatever Catholics call the stage area by the altar. The best I can make out
is that right now an old priest in white robes is pouring water over Mom’s
head. That must be the one who’s been teaching her Catholicism, Monsignor Oesterreicher.
I
nudge Jennifer. “Isn’t it great that Mom is finally settling into a normal
religion?” She manages to suppress her giggle. Me, not so much.
About
five hours later.
Once again I am bobbing my head, trying to see around the person in front of
me. This is my life.
Unfortunately,
it is much harder to get a good sightline at the Ritz than it was at St. A’s.
Here, the man blocking my view is not only tall but also has tall hair—three
inches of platinum spikes—and he too is bobbing his head, only he is doing it
in time with the music.
At
my side is Bill, resplendent in the vintage brocaded caftan I bought
him—another birthday present. We have been together nearly nine weeks. That
makes it the longest relationship I’ve ever had. Bill is two years older than
me and publishes a mod fanzine, Smashed Blocked. He is just the kind of handsome,
witty, musically aware boyfriend I have been dreaming of.
But
Bill doesn’t dream about me. A few days ago, he told me he had a dream about
Liz, another girl from the mod/garage-rock scene. And he said Liz likes him
too, plus she just broke up with her boyfriend.
So
this could be my last date with Bill. That is too much to think about right
now. Sometimes it helps
to have loud live music and nightclub lights just to be distracted from my own
thoughts. Tonight’s music is not my favorite, but it is fun and mindless.
The
bleached-blonde guitarist launches into a familiar fuzzed-out riff, sparking a
cheer from the crowd. It’s the one song they all know. Craning my neck, I catch
sight of the singer prancing about, swishing his long brown hair like a corded
whip.
“Prepare
yourself, you know it’s a must, gotta have a friend
in Jesus . . .”
Oh,
no. I forgot that when a band performs its hit at the Ritz, the technicians
turn on the smoke machines for dramatic effect. It looks exciting from a
distance but it is hard to take up close.
An
acrid cloud arises, billowing pink and purple beneath the stage lights,
swallowing up the singer so that he seems to fade in and out of view.
“So
you know that when you die he’s gonna recommend you
to the spirit in the sky . . .”
Cigarette
smoke I can tune out, but not the chemical stuff emitted by the machines.
Instinctively I rub my eyes. Before I can stop myself, half my eyeliner comes
off onto my fingertips.
A
quick glance into my makeup mirror confirms the damage has been done. I am a
stained mess.
“I
never sinned, I got a friend in Jesus . . .”
I
mutter an obscenity under my breath. Five hundred people stand between me and
the nearest source of water. There is no way I can get clean.
Excerpted and
adapted from Sunday Will Never
Be the Same: A Rock and Roll Journalist Opens Her Ears to God by Dawn Eden
Goldstein (Catholic Answers Press). All rights reserved.
I used to be a clubber in Dallas. I had worked at Sound Warehouse maybe in 1993 or 1994 when Positive K had "I got a man" and Dr. Dre had "The Chronic" and Alice in Chains had "Man in the Box." So I was friends with two or three rock bands. The tehcno clubs were 100% then in Dallas. Anyways I became Catholic ten years later in 2004. I met my ex-wife minus the Catholic anullment in a Dallas disco. We conceived children twice but miscarried. I am glad the children exist though. I believe the children received eternal life. We are supposed to make it to heaven, right? I want to be a Saint... St. Therese of Lisieux said that. Here we go. We try.
ReplyDeleteThis looks very interesting! Thank you
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh Dawn... wow. Powerful. I too used to go to the Ritz, a way long time ago.
ReplyDelete